The Crazy Cycle In Marriage - Study Guide (Download)
This is a digital study guide that goes with The Crazy Cycle In Marriage video course. This purchase is for single-use license - Order as many as you will need.
The Crazy Cycle In Marriage Study Guide
Digital Download
The Crazy Cycle in Marriage Workbook (download) completes the 4-part video-driven Bible study from Right Now Media (also available as a L&R course) and includes leader's guide notes, summaries and discussion questions for all four sessions, and information on how to get the most out of this video study.
Whether you're studying on your own or leading a group as a volunteer or a paid staff member, this downloadable material will help you and your group focus on the meaningful teaching in The Crazy Cycle in Marriage.
In order for every member of your group to get the most out of this series, everyone will need a copy of the workbook.
Read What Others Are Saying About The Crazy Cycle in Marriage!
"My husband and I ... were definitely on the crazy cycle. We didn't know it until recognizing it after your explanation. It was like a light bulb went off showing us what we were doing over and over again."
Wife
"My marriage is changed forever! I want to let men who are struggling know that they can change their marriage. If you apply these principles, they will make a difference, my marriage is living proof."
Husband
"We were constantly on the Crazy cycle...but I started to act on some of your suggestions. I was amazed at the changes in our marriage."
Couple
"I’m a pastor and was looking for a DVD series to use with couples in pastoral counseling. I feel thrilled that I was able to get the Crazy Cycle 4 session series [online] to help them."
Pastor
"Thank you for helping families to understand and be better. Also, thank you for helping us again to rely on God to help transform us!"
Wife
"Excellent videos. My husband and I have learned what causes us to get on the crazy cycle during conflict. That has been eye opening and an area for growth in our marriage. He is my ally, not my enemy."
Wife
"My husband and I ... were definitely on the crazy cycle. We didn't know it until recognizing it after your explanation. It was like a light bulb went off showing us what we were doing over and over again."
"My marriage is changed forever! I want to let men who are struggling know that they can change their marriage. If you apply these principles, they will make a difference, my marriage is living proof."
"We were constantly on the Crazy cycle...but I started to act on some of your suggestions. I was amazed at the changes in our marriage."
"I’m a pastor and was looking for a DVD series to use with couples in pastoral counseling. I feel thrilled that I was able to get the Crazy Cycle 4 session series [online] to help them."
"...I thank you SO much for helping us to understand the concepts of love and respect. While I did not have great role models growing up, I am committed to showing my husband and sons the respect that they deserve as the men in our home. I have seen the love for myself and my daughter come around in multiplied amounts, which has made our home so much happier all around. Thank you for helping families to understand and be better. Also, thank you for helping us again to rely on God to help transform us!"
"Excellent videos. My husband and I have learned what causes us to get on the crazy cycle during conflict. That has been eye opening and an area for growth in our marriage. He is my ally, not my enemy."
Emerson and Sarah Eggerichs
Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is an internationally known public speaker on the topic of male-female relationships. Based on over three decades of pastoring, counseling and study of biblical and scientific research, Dr. Eggerichs and his wife Sarah developed the Love and Respect Conference which they present to live audiences around the country.
About Love & RespectProduct Quotes
When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.
We send each other messages in “code” based on gender, even though we don’t intend to. What I say is not what you hear, and what you think you heard is not what I meant at all.
We have to step back as Christ followers and ask, “Do I have false expectations that my relationship should be romantic 99% of the time?”
Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.
If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.
Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.
Being a person who communicates what is true frequently demands tact, and at times it can feel like sidestepping land mines. It takes work to be both truthful and tactful.
Each of you must focus on what God is calling you to do toward your spouse. Do not focus on what you think God is calling your spouse to do toward you.
Research and experience prove that men and women see and hear differently. Recognizing these differences and adjusting to them is absolutely necessary for reaching mutual understanding and better communication.
You both forgive for one simple but profound reason: because you know Christ has forgiven you!
When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.
The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.
When your wife comes to talk to you, listen to her. Realize she is coming to you because you matter more to her than anyone else. She has certain emotional needs and only you can meet them. Sometimes she may say things that don’t make sense to you and she is apt to misspeak and exaggerate when she is upset, but don’t put her down. Instead, listen to her heart. Give her a chance to express her concerns and, as she does so, don’t try to fix her. Don’t give her your solutions unless she asks for them.
You may believe that the careless, unloving or disrespectful words you speak are because your spouse is causing you to speak this way, but Jesus says that it is coming out of your heart.
His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.
Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)
Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.
When evil comes at you, you’re the one who makes the choice of whether or not it is going to go into you.
Will we decide how we see God based on our circumstances, or will we see our circumstances in light of how we view God?
The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.
When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.
As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!
Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)
Both Judas and Peter denied Jesus Christ, but there is a huge difference between a Judas and a Peter.
Avoid like the plague trying to punish each other as a means of “motivation.” Christ-followers instinctively know that this destroys any opportunity to act out of reverence for Christ. In all marital issues, love and reverence for Christ must be our primary motivation.
At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!
Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.
A major step toward a happy marriage is accepting differences and working them out with love and respect.
Holding back your love or respect will just keep the Crazy Cycle spinning away, but being mature and making the first move could slow it down.
In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.
The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.
He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.
You speak lovingly or respectfully no matter how your spouse may speak to you in return. Your spouse is not the reason--good or bad--why you speak unconditional words of love or respect. God is the reason, and as you depend on Him, you will become increasingly able to speak lovingly and respectfully to your spouse.
Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.
Mutual submission is the only way to live fairly together with mutual authority.
No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.
Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.
Your husband knows you appreciate his desire to protect and provide when you praise his commitment to provide for you. You empathize when he reveals his male mindset about position, status, or rank at work.
A husband may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.
We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.
“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.
Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.
Your spouse may meet many of your needs, but your deepest dependency should be on your Lord.
His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.
God is not pink. God is not blue. God is purple. When two become one, they have the potential of displaying God’s attributes and character.
When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.
You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.
Troubles over sex and money do not cause a marriage to go under. The lack of love and respect during conflict cause the marriage to go under.
Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).
[Husbands] do you realize the power of just holding your wife’s hand?
When sorting out how to slow down the Crazy Cycle, it helps to remember that men are commanded to love because they don’t love naturally, and on the other side, women are commanded to respect because they don’t respect naturally.
Be quick to listen and understand and you have a much better chance of being understood.
Marital researchers agree that a huge percentage of communication problems between husband and wife are due not to what is said but to how it is said – the attitude and tone of voice.
Positive changes flood a relationship immediately when both husband and wife cancel the blame game!
Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.
Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.
Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.
[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.
When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.
Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.
I often stress that one of the greatest rewards any persevering spouse can have is being a good example and influence on the children in the family.
Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.
[Women], your self-love cannot be derived from your husband’s love. It can affect it, but it does not determine it.
It’s hard to realize that we would never act around our business associates the way we act around our spouse.
To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.
No matter what your struggle- criticism, constant conflict, sex, money, parenting, harsh words- learning to communicate the Love and Respect way can help you make crucial changes and build the kind of relationship that God blesses.
Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.
Accidental sparks (unwise remarks) ignite and fuel a fire, and vroom goes the Crazy Cycle.
Unconditional respect is as powerful to him as unconditional love is to her.
I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?
Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"
If we subscribe to the belief that because we are equal we are the same, then we’re going to expect our spouse to respond the way we do.
The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.
Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.
Your marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for Jesus Christ. God is using your spouse to bring you an eternal reward.
Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.
Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.
When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.