Crazy Cycle CD (10 Pack)

Truth will carry its own weight if delivered respectfully and lovingly.

It’s crucial to communicate with the right tone of voice and the right expression on your face.

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

Do you bow to the influence of Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

Above all trust God when the “whys” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

If you are seeking positive change in your marriage, you will need to make a positive change in your attitude and actions.

God designed the woman to love. He’s not going to command her to agape her husband when He created her to do that in the first place. God is not into redundancy.

Since it is easy to focus on the negative, focus on your mate’s good qualities and express thanks with positive words of Love or Respect.

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

We are worth Jesus to the Father.

In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ.

Through Jesus and Peter, God set forth His standard for living in the unconditional dimension: choose to be loving even when the other person is not; do what is right regardless of the treatment you receive. I believe this standard applies directly to marriage. A husband who speaks lovingly to his disrespectful wife will be rewarded; and a wife who speaks respectfully to her unloving, not-worthy-of-respect husband will be rewarded. Whether you are husband or wife, the reward is what can keep you going in the midst of the craziness: knowing that God commends you, knowing that you have found his favor for your words and actions.

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

It is hard to be negative while being thankful.

We can communicate the truth in the best of manners, but the person may be so insecure he or she can only react and attack like a wounded bear.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

When others do not respond to our communication, we need to look first at our communication style. Is the other person incapable of hearing what we have to say? Or are we abrupt, brusque, and curt?

Trusting and obeying God’s Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite! When the alarm goes off in the morning, we get up, even when we don’t feel like it getting up. Because we do what we don’t feel like doing, does that make us hypocrites? No, it’s a sign we are responsible people. Showing respectful behavior when we don’t “feel respectful” is evidence of maturity.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

You must “ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves.”

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

You can be right but wrong at the top of your voice.

When a husband feels disrespected, he has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel unloving to his wife. (Perhaps the command to love was given to him precisely for this reason!) When a wife feels unloved, she has a natural tendency to react in ways that feel disrespectful to her husband. (Perhaps the command to respect was given to her precisely for this reason!)

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

Always try to look at your spouse the way Jesus does.

Unconditional respect, like unconditional love, is all about how one sounds (tone of voice and word choice) and appears (facial expressions and physical actions).

Don’t conclude that your spouse is wrong when he/she is seeking to do the right and righteous thing.

Getting married reveals, usually sooner than later, an incontestable fact: your spouse cannot possibly meet all your needs and desires

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

Every marriage includes trouble some of the time. Do not let the 20% leaven all the rest.

Often the apparent issue isn’t the real issue; the real issue is always a matter of love or respect.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

Before hitting send, ask yourself, "Have I listened carefully and understand the exact issue on the table?"

When you possess a forgiving spirit, words of Love and Respect will flow authentically from your lips- and realize that the Lord Himself is listening to you at moments like these. He knows you are not powerless, but actually full of power that He has granted you.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

This is the Rewarded Cycle: His love blesses regardless of her respect and her respect blesses regardless of his love.

As a wife, if you can start to understand how important your husband’s work is to him, you will take a giant step toward communicating respect and honor, two things that he values even more than your love.

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

Assume goodwill about the person you are in conflict with.

Responding to offensive words or actions with your own offensive words and actions is damaging and unproductive.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

I had often asked God to compensate for my mistakes, but in return had I thought He would give me perfect children?

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

If husbands and wives are to understand the Love and Respect Connection, they must realize that they communicate in code. And the problem is, they don’t know how to decipher the messages they send to one another.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

A woman needs love like she needs air to breathe. A man needs respect like he needs air to breathe.

To not forgive is to shoot yourself in the foot and put extra gas in the Crazy Cycle.

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

She’ll feel at peace with you when you let her vent your frustrations and hurts and don’t get angry and close her off.

Words of Love and Respect must include thankfulness spoken to or about your spouse; don’t fixate on weaknesses and faults.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

Whether visiting a prison, feeding the hungry, giving the thirsty a drink or speaking a word of love or respect, everything is to be done to and for Christ.

We are equal but we are not the same.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

Refuse to let evil turn you into a contemptuous and hateful person.

There is a discrepancy between who we want to be and see ourselves to be and how we actually sound in voice and writing. But with self-reflection and honesty, we can turn the corner and improve our communication. We need only evaluate what we are about to communicate.

Being friendly to her man is one of the most effective things a woman can do to strengthen her marriage.

Clearly, in the marriage, in the family and in the household, when you speak words of blessing, you are speaking to the Lord, and for this you will be rewarded.

No matter what your struggle- criticism, constant conflict, sex, money, parenting, harsh words- learning to communicate the Love and Respect way can help you make crucial changes and build the kind of relationship that God blesses.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

When one of you makes a mistake, control any anger you may feel and trust God completely, no matter what happens.

Mutual understanding, not communication, is the key to a healthy marriage relationship.

Husbands primarily want to hear ‘respect” talk during conflict. Wives primarily want to hear “love” talk during conflict.

Feeling unloved, a wife gets defensive and acts offensively without respect. Feeling disrespected, a husband gets defensive and acts offensively without love.

We have different vulnerabilities. We can pass judgment on one another all day long or we can say God made us different and that’s ok.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

We easily see what is done to us before we see what we are doing to our mate.

Pink and Blue perceptions not only affect seeing, they affect hearing as well. Women hear with pink hearing aids and men hear with blue hearing aids. Even more important to understand as you and your spouse seek to gain better communication, you can hear the very same words, but each of you will hear different messages.

Wives, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your husband not only back to you, but to God. Husbands, you never know: The way you handle this [conflict] might bring your wife not only back to you, but to God. (1 Corinthians 7:16)

“You can be right, but wrong at the top of your voice.”

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

Our research shows that couples who pray together are more apt to reap all kinds of benefits, including better and more frequent communication, going on “dates” more frequently and having sex more frequently.

In your marriage be the first to “seek peace and pursue it” (1 Peter 3:11)

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

When you’re truly Christ-centered, instead of child-centered, you will be a more effective parent in the long run.

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

Women give a report to build rapport. Men bond through shoulder-to-shoulder activities without talking.

The heart of my communication means the other person cannot get my heart to be unkind, unloving, or disrespectful. Instead, I have made a decision about who I will be independent of the other person. I won’t blame my unkindness on someone else.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.