Husband & Wife Mug Set and Coaster

When confronting your spouse, attack the behavior, not the person.

When a wife insists that her husband earn her respect, she puts him in a lose-lose situation.

God rewards your obedience to love and respect, even if your spouse does not respond!

We fool ourselves into thinking the other person causes us to be the way we are. They really don’t! But if we lock into that idea, we become helpless, hopeless victims.

Your words reveal your heart.

I have concluded that those of us in the church who believe we have the Truth are not using the whole truth. A crucial part of God’s Word has been completely ignored, or perhaps simply gone unnoticed, when it has been there right under our noses the whole time! Many Christian spouses know Ephesians 5:33 and can at least paraphrase it. The Apostle Paul tells husbands to love their wives as much as they love themselves, and wives are to respect their husbands. But is anyone really listening? Perhaps the first step to better communication between husband and wife is to hear what God’s Word clearly says. --Emerson

So I encourage every husband and wife to commit to the Jesus Way of Talking. Instead of allowing the stress of the situation to control you, you can say to yourself, “Because I love the Lord and I know that He rewards every good word, I am going to be truthful even if my spouse is not. I will also be uplifting, forgiving, thankful and scriptural in my speech because my ultimate goal is to please the Lord. Whatever my spouse’s weaknesses or bad habits might be, I will not let them cause me to sin with my lips.”

Your husband knows you value his friendship when you tell him you like him and you show it (he knows you love him, but he often wonders if you really like him).

Can you begin to trust that God feels love for you even when you don’t feel that love?

Be friendly. Be friendly. Be friendly. Watch what happens.

Always see your mate as an ally. Feedback is of little use if you see your spouse as an enemy. Giving and receiving constructive feedback is based on feelings of goodwill in both partners. Both of you need to remember that, even if you don’t always agree and even if you become irritated or angry, you are friends, and neither of you means to hurt the other.

When you love or respect unconditionally regardless of the outcome, you are following God and His will for you.

If a husband is commanded to agape- love his wife, then she truly needs love.

When there is confusion, I try to refrain from attacking another for not listening carefully (which may not be the case). Instead, I take a run at communicating again, but more clearly.

Life is too short to fuss and fret over trivial irritations.

Your spouse deserves the truth from you. Do your best to tell it with love and respect.

You’re the only person in the world who can meet your spouse’s deepest need for love and respect. After all, you alone are married to your spouse.

There is a plan to parent God’s way, even when our children may seek to go their own way at time. The secret is to follow this plan regardless. When you do, I believe you succeed in His eyes.

We might say that every negative action in the family has an equal and opposite negative reaction.

The difference between successful couples and unsuccessful couples is that successful ones keep getting up and dealing with the issues.

You have two ears and one mouth; use them proportionately.

With a better understanding of God’s promises, you will be on your way to a renewed mind and a changed life.

His love blesses regardless of her respect; her respect blesses regardless of his love.

As mature men, we need to take leadership and put this out on the table. We must acknowledge our feelings- we need to feel respected. However, as we do this we must acknowledge our wife’s feelings- she needs to feel loved!

Unconditional love or respect is never wasted. Hang onto this promise: “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary” (Galatians 6:9).

Trust God when the “why’s” of life threaten to overwhelm you.

Do you believe that there is a God who really loves you and wants to help you?

God is not trying to trick you or mess with you. Trust that He wants to reveal Himself to you just as much as He wants to reveal Himself to the world.

Your wife feels you are open with her when you discuss financial concerns, possible job changes or ideas for your future.

How we react to a situation reveals more about us than about the other person.

“Living happily ever after” means knowing how to deal with the imperfect parts of life.

Respect for the husband is just as important as love for the wife.

We are either going to give in the darkness or we are going to give into the darkness.

At the very bottom of things, in every case and in every conversation, you can do your marriage a huge favor by assuming she is seeking to feel loved or he is seeking to feel respected and give your spouse some grace!

We are equal but we are not the same.

To get offended is easy, but to forgive is within your power as you walk in His steps.

When you look to God and His Word as your ultimate source of significance and security, you don’t demand that your spouse take that role in your life. And as you draw strength from the Lord individually, He draws you closer together as a couple.

It is so easy to draw wrong conclusions about a spouse’s character and motives due to an occasional flare-up or silly comment.

When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he is responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and earn her respect.

To stay the course in speaking words of Love and Respect, keep your heart in Scripture, trusting in and talking about His promises to help you.

Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God’s will to be revealed in our lives.

It’s true that women have intuition and that men should listen to them. It’s also true that women have blind spots and need the insight of their husbands.

Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord.

Whose voice are you listening to: Hollywood or God’s Holy Word?

When a husband feels disrespected, it is especially hard to love his wife. When a wife feels unloved, it is especially hard to respect her husband.

Don’t label each other as bad because you differ on how you solve your troubles.

Your marriage is really a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and reverence for your Lord.

When Jesus said “turn the other cheek,” He wasn’t saying to be passive wimps. He was teaching that physically people can control you but if you turn and give the other cheek, suddenly you’re in control and you’re making the choices.

Although the Crazy Cycle is not what God intends for any marriage, all couples get on it at times from one degree to another.

It is crucial for a husband and wife to see that neither one is wrong, but both of them are very different--in body function, outlook and perspective.

We all need to wrestle with the spiritual truth that God is good. If you don’t believe God is good, you won’t trust His word. If you don’t trust His word, you will find excuses to ignore His commands.

[Husbands] the most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood.

You must distinguish between “I can’t” and “I won’t.”

To build a lasting legacy, use proven wisdom that you glean from the Lord.

Recognize your different gifts--how each of you (Pink and Blue) functions according to God’s perfect design.

As strong and powerful as marriage bonds can become, our deepest dependency must be on the Lord, not another human being.

She’s not wrong for not being male. He is not wrong for not being female. When you put pink and blue together, you get purple, the color of royalty; the color of God. Together, a husband and wife reflect God’s image.

The Love and Respect message is not about a husband earning his wife’s respect by being more loving any more than it is about a wife earning her husband’s love by being more respectful. Always love or respect is given unconditionally according to God’s commands.

The parent-child relationship is as easy, and as difficult, as love and respect.

If you want your husband to express appreciation for your attempts to be respectful, you must speak thankfully when he tries to be loving.

There is power and freedom that comes in understanding that no one can cause you to react in a certain way. It is your choice.

Knowing my spouse will not be able to love or respect me perfectly, I commit to having a forgiving spirit so that I may never speak hatefully or contemptuously.

Our trustworthiness rests on our truthfulness.

Here is the secret to marriage that every couple seeks and yet few find: Unconditional respect is as powerful for him as unconditional love is for her. It’s the secret that will help you achieve a brand new level of intimacy.

Marriage is a tool and a test to deepen and demonstrate your love and your reverence for Jesus Christ.

Do not live by the standards of Hollywood; trust what God says in His Holy Word.

God’s commands are not burdensome, but are given to us to spare us from more pain. Why would God command you to do something that doesn’t work?

Your position in Christ is what counts, not your less-than-perfect performance.

Thank the Lord that in the very beginning He created them male and female – Blue and Pink. Ask Him for patience and ever-growing understanding of how men and women see and hear differently. “He created them male and female, and He blessed them.” (Genesis 5:2)

When you relinquish an offense, you need to send that offense somewhere. So follow Jesus’ example and release it to your heavenly Father.

Often both spouses have goodwill but are not deciphering each other’s code. She criticizes out of love, but he “hears” only disrespect. He distances himself to prevent feelings from escalating, which is the honorable thing to do, but she “sees” only his failure to be loving!

It’s so easy to dismiss our spouse as childish because we don’t have the same vulnerabilities they do.

Most marriages will succeed when obeying the command to Love and Respect.

Never give up. If you want to have a strong marriage, you need to accept temporary setbacks as part of the game.

When we speak before we think, we widen the chances the other person(s) will be notably hurt, frustrated, confused, angry, fearful, or offended by something we’ve communicated.

His love motivates her respect. Her respect motivates his love.

The Crazy Cycle is, indeed, “the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness” (Ecclesiastes 7:25).

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration or anger, but you always have a choice. A wife can choose to be disrespectful or respectful. A husband can choose to be unloving or loving.

You have to become proactive, rather than just trying to stop the reactive.

“With eyes of faith, envision Jesus standing just beyond the shoulder of your spouse and listening to every word you speak in every conversation, pleasant or tense. When you speak lovingly or respectfully to your spouse, you are speaking to Christ. Your spouse just happens to be there too.” This truth has sanctified the lips of many. Instead of giving their spouse a verbal whipping or choking on the idea of saying anything positive, now some spouses are motivated to speak words of unconditional love or respect.

Self-interest should never come ahead of your spouse’s interests.

Ladies, be careful. “A nagging wife goes on and on like the drip, drip, drip of the rain” (Proverbs 19:13).

Just because you may feel unloved or disrespected does not mean your spouse is sending that message.

Your spouse can affect you, but your spouse does not control you.

[Husbands] as the church places her burdens on Christ, so a woman needs to place her burdens on her husband. When she shares with you, don’t assume she is asking you to solve the problem. Ask your wife, “Do you want a solution or a listening ear?”

When a wife feels unloved, it can be such a shock to her heart that she is oblivious to her disrespectful reactions toward her husband, though any man watching could see it plainly.

The Lord made women (Pink) and men (Blue) with differences, and He expects us to recognize and deal with those differences in a loving and respectful way.

A man has a natural, inborn desire to go out and “conquer” the challenges of his world – to work and achieve.

Assuming goodwill can be revolutionary in relationships.

We have discovered that as women motivate their man God’s way, men are energized to love them better. It doesn’t matter if your marriage is good or seems like there is no hope. We have seen God move in powerful ways even when things looked hopeless.

Words of love from a husband are like good medicine that brings life to the marriage.

No matter how difficult your spouse may be at the moment, your spouse does not have control over your reaction; you do. You may be experiencing disappointment, frustration, or anger, but you always have a choice.

Your hunger for God can create an appetite in your children.

When parents genuinely trust and follow the Lord and His ways, their faith spills over onto the children.

He will feel appreciated when you recognize his problem-solving approach as his male brand of empathy.

The moment we cry to Him for help, He is already pleased. He gives us strength to love our children.

A strong woman of dignity puts on respect out of her love and reverence for Jesus Christ. She trusts that His word not only protects and empowers her, but also rewards her with incomprehensible eternal blessings.

Don’t pressure yourself with perfection. We are going to fail. A righteous man falls 7 times but gets back up.

As you pray together, you will truly learn to love and respect together.

Thank the Lord for the goodwill each of you has toward the other. Ask Him for strength to give each other the benefit of the doubt during moments when someone’s goodwill seems to be lacking. “He who seeks good finds goodwill, but evil comes to him who searches for it.” (Proverbs 11:27)